Becoming a mother has been eye-opening....and I mean that in more ways than one. I go to bed later (to get some downtime after my almost 3 year old's 9:30pm bedtime because, well, getting her to bed any earlier is an act of God), I get up earlier (because my 9 month old wants to wake up at the exact same time that I need to in order to get ready for work...therefore he spends mornings in the bathroom with me), my nights are often interrupted with Veda prancing into our bedroom wanting to snuggle or Brooks waking up crying because he is popping a tooth or more often, pooping himself at 2:45am, and I don't get to take naps as often as I'd like on weekends (ok, like barely ever).
But aside from actual lack of sleep keeping my eyes open, my AWARENESS of what it means to be a mother of 2 kids under 3 years old has really kept my internal eyes open lately. You find ways to de-escalate the tantrums, you search deep inside yourself for some ounce of patience, you tap out and let your partner step in when you can't find any patience left, you remind yourself to drink in the moments, and most recently, you PICK YOUR BATTLES.
Yesterday, my son Brooks turned 9 months. Though I take many pictures of him, I've always slacked on the monthly progression pictures with both of my kids. I thought I had better get some of him because the weather was nice and pretty soon, he would be turning ONE (ohmygod, noooooooooo!)
At first, he did great! Now mind you, this is literally 15 minutes before his bed time. I thought "there is NO way he's going to smile" but we happened to capture some nice shots.
And then things started to spiral downward. Veda obviously wanted to be a part of the photo shoot. But I totally forgot that prior to this, she had thrown a fit about needing a sweater, then needing her dress OVER her sweater. I gave in, because I'm learning which battles to fight and which ones to surrender to. As I sat her down next to Brooks, I realized her atrocious outfit. OH WELL!
And then, just as Veda was sitting down, Brooks fell backwards and landed right in some dirt. Not a hard fall because he was literally inches from the ground, but remember, it's now his bedtime and this kid is quite the drama king. I tried and tried to get the tears to stop, but he wasn't having it. Veda, on the other hand, assumed her poses.
You guys, THIS is motherhood. It's messy, it's exhausting, it's completely imperfect but ohmygoodness it's beautiful, it's precious, and it's so hilarious. I am so lucky to experience being a mom to my daughter and my son. I count my blessings every day.